in.between.day

   I was having a bad day… then I was having a good day… now, I don’t know what it is. K, I have no idea why I was feeling bad yesterday to start off, but I guess I just was. Then, as it was kinda getting worse and worse, I went and bought a few cd’s at Target and then a few more from BMG and I felt a whole lot better. Music seems to have a calming effect on me sometimes. Then, late at night I’m bored so I started to talk to “the-girl-who-I-don’t-really-like-but-I’m-pretty-sure-she-likes-me” on MSN. She’s the girl that added me to her hotornot list and I’ve never met before. Big mistake. She always, always is asking me… “Oh, when are you going to come visit me?” The correct answer is never, nor will she ever come visit me. I just really, really, (have I mentioned REALLY) don’t like it when a girl that I don’t like tries to cross that friendship line… Here’s the message that I get on MSN that JUST killed my me…

[01:32] (Brent’s note…I took out her name in case any of you know her or something. Haha, I’m a paranoid bastard! Anyways, it was a dumb name anyways …) says: okay, well I was just thinking about what would happen when and if you and I met and if we hit off

   Okay, from here I’m just completely and totally fucked. Sorry about the language boys and girls, but there is no getting around it this time. I knew she was going to say something sometime sooner or later. Here was my old plan of attack… sometime when she asked me the “When are you visiting question?”, I was gonna lie my ass off and say I just started “kinda-sorta” seeing a girl and I don’t think it would be too cool to do that to the new (make believe) girl. Is that a lie – very much so. Would I feel guilty about it? Not very much because I think I mean well… I really don’t want to have to disappoint her or something, but I am just not interested in her and I don’t want to lead her on at all. I dunno… maybe that was a wrong plan of attack, but I think it’s kinda protecting her feelings a little. I know honestly is important, but I mean, do you think she’d want me to tell her I’m not attracted to her plus she is starting to annoy me? She seems kind of stalker-ish too…

   So here I am, present situation… don’t know what the hell to do. I blocked her on MSN (which I NEVER do to anyone!) because I honestly have no idea what to tell her. Right after she said that, the first thing I said was I’m definitely not psyched about the idea of a long distance relationship. I don’t think I closed the door enough though… I need to figure out a way that I can make it obvious that I’m definitely not interested, but I’m not mean, so I don’t want be mean about it. I mean, I’ve tried to be subtle about it. I mean, I’m looking at my chat logs right now… I haven’t initiated a conversation with her in the whole month of November. I haven’t answered the phone if I don’t know the number because she calls ALL the time. I just don’t know what to say. I think in the process of trying to be nice about it, I’ve been an asshole. I don’t know what to do though… My plan of attack right now is… I have not a damn clue… How can I be nice about the “I don’t like you like that” card. I’ve never been in this situation before and I can now understand why people say it’s sucks.

   The weird thing is it totally hasn’t affected my mood at all. I’m kinda frustrated that I don’t know what to do (and honestly, I half-woke up my roommate and he has no ideas either…) Everything we think of sucks… Haha, what else is new? Anyways, I listened to Silverchair’s kinda new CD Diorama tonight. I got it off the Internet like early last spring but it didn’t come out until like a month or two ago in the States. While all their music is good, for some reason, that CD put me in a really kinda happy-go-lucky, ho-hum-life-is-grand kinda mood. So that’s why I’m recommending it as CD of the week. Haven’t done one of those for a few weeks, but I’ll tell you this much… it’s kinda more artsy-rock than a typical Silverchair record, but it grows on ya. Anyways, I kinda went long with those so I’m gonna shorten my response or whatever for the songs of the week (every Tuesday, remember!), but why wait any longer….

Songs of the Week

1. Ben Lee – Cigarettes Will Kil You – I can’t listen to this song enough this week. It’s slow kinda poppy-contemporary sounding. Nothing groundbreaking, but it’s seriously like the best song I’ve heard in a while… and the dude was only like 19 when the CD came out!

2. Nirvana – Territorial Pissings – I love yelling and Kurt Cobain yells a lot on this song… Childish reason for liking a song? Yes, but isn’t that what it’s all about?

3. Bjork – Army of Me (Beastie Boys Remix) – I like Bjork, I like the Beastie Boys… would’ve ever thunk it that I’d like this song

4. Authority Zero – One More Minute – I see this video on Much Music all the time but I never knew who it was until this week. Anyways, I can’t believe this song never got huge. It just has a certain something about it that is almost impossible not to like.

5. At the Drive-In – Rascuache (Latch Brothers Remix) – Once again, I like ATDI and the Beastie Boys, who knew… anyways, this song has a line about a pacemaker in the chorus and since I kinda have one, I thought I can’t NOT (double negative!) put it in here.

6. Jane’s Addication – Jane Says – I haven’t listened to these guys in a quick minute but they are awesome and this is my favorite song by them.

7. The Early November – Every Night’s Another Story – This is a new band and while I don’t think they’ll ever be huge, they have a nice sound and I’m really into this song.

8. Local H – All Right (Oh Yeah!) – Pretty much all the chorus is chanting “All Right” and “Oh Yeah”… kinda braindead, but it’s a fun song to sing along with.

9. Alanis (!!!) Morissette – You Oughta Know – Where have you been lately Alanis? Anyways, I’ve always kinda liked her and this song rules.

10. De La Soul – Squat – This song features Mike D and Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys… are you starting to guess I like the Beastie Boys? Haha…

11. No Doubt – Sunday Morning – Ah yes… good ol’ Tragic Kingdom! What a CD it was… I don’t listen to it often, but ska always puts you in a good mood, so maybe…

12. Dean Martin – You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Loves You – I have no idea where this song fits on the CD, but I have a soft spot for big band music. My dad has always been into it and for some reason, so have I. I’m not gonna apologize or anything though, cuz I like it and that’s all that matters.

13. Cake – The Distance – Fashion Nugget is one of those CD’s I honestly can’t tell you why I don’t own… I like almost every song on it! This song is just kinda cool to listen to… I’d imagine this would be a great road trip song.

14. Mobb Deep – Shook Ones – My roommates thought the opening to 8 Mile was a new Eminem song. Nope… nada. This song is pretty old, but it’s got a really cool beat. I LOVE the strings in the background, it gives the song such a mysterious kinda feel.

15. Prodigy – Breathe – I think it’s funny that I put this after Mobb Deep because one of the two rappers in Mobb Deep is called Prodigy. I have a friend who bought his CD thinking it was the techno Prodigy… needless to say he was kinda mad cuz he hates rap. Anyways, I honestly don’t know how you could not like this song… it’s ridiculously catchy.

16. The Juliana Theory – Do You Believe Me? – This song sounds like it cound someday be huge… they have kinda that soft-contemporary, but still not wussy rock sound down. A lot like Bon Jovi except it doesn’t, well… it doesn’t suck like Bon Jovi does 🙂

17. Screaming Trees – I Nearly Lost You – I’ve never heard of the Screaming Trees until this week. This is one of the only songs of theirs I’ve ever heard… yet I just ordered a CD of theirs from BMG… I hope it’s decent.

18. Seether – Needles – I got this CD last week and I like it more than just a little. It’s good to hear good new music because I just can never get enough of it.

19. SEV – Same Old Song – This song is from a commercial or so I’m told… I like it a lot, been listening to it for a while. I dunno…

20. Phantom Planet – California – This is possibly one of my 10 favorite songs from last year. I saw these guys open for American Hi-Fi in Fargo last year and proclaimed them “the worst band I’ve ever seen.” I did however, like this song from the get go… by the way, I have since changed my mind and I really, really like Phantom Planet (featuring the drumming by one of the funniest actors ever)

21. Silverchair – Freak – I’m on an absolute Silverchair kick… what did you think I wasn’t gonna throw one of their songs on? Haha… anyways, I like everything about this song. I can play it on guitar, it’s fun to sing especially the line “If only I could be as cool as you…”, I really like the video and most importantly, sometimes just because I feel a little different, I feel a little bit freak-ish. Yeeeeeah, I’m a freak!

22. Adam Sandler – I’ll Grow Old With You – Who knew the man who did all goat skits could write one of the sweetest songs ever. It’s such an honest expression of a feeling everyone feels from time to time, when all you want for someone else is everything to be perfect. Awww… Brent’s getting all sentimental.

   Anyways, my movie of the week SHOULD be the new Harry Potter but since I haven’t went to it yet (probably Thursday!), I’m gonna have to go with One Hour Photo. I never knew Robin Williams can play such a creepy bad guy, but this movie is pretty awesome. And I know you haven’t seen it cuz it only made like four dollars in gross sales, but I recommend it. I will warn you that it’s kinda creepy, kinda disturbing, but it’s definitely a good movie that worth sitting down and watching for an hour and a half. Well, that’s that… I gotta get to bed so I don’t sleep through my 5 PM class. Tomorrow’s hump day though… what a dumb name for a day, huh? See ya then.

Paycito (new favorite work)


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